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| I realized I hadn't taken time to sketch my sweetheart in the current journal...an oversight I rectified this day! |
Are these signposts on the path, or obstacles? Today there was a post from poet/priest/philospher John O'Donohue on community, coming together, working together, without "introverted power games."
But my introversion is anything but a power game. It's simply who I am, how I function best. I feel scattered and exhausted with "too much of a muchness."
Other quotes have been pointing to community as well, with a kind of synchronicity. I will think on this...but I've worked in community, and burned out, going down in some fairly spectacular flames! I am not anxious to see an encore.
And by evening my body appeared to add its vote--backache! I read in bed with the heating pad on 8 rather than attending our 2nd Friday art crawl. The quiet was most welcome, as well as healing.
Perhaps listening to the messages our body sends us rather than powering through them is also a kind of re-wilding.
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| The sketch itself is rather painful! The discomfort shows in my face AND in my inability to capture a likeness. But...it is what it is, and there were almost no other records of the day--and so it is included. |
Sounds like a lot of fancy talk from a guy who has NO CLUE. We introverts are not understood by people who are
ReplyDeletemade differently. I have many loving people in my life who misread every thing about my behavior when it becomes solitary or contemplative. That John feller is into the Buzz Word "power" or "power strategies" and is locked into a different thought system and another world.
Really, I was surprised to read that from him...usually I find him very inspiring, but that one threw me!
DeleteIt's a world that he is just not a part of, and so isolated from it, Kate, that he has to fall back on the cliches of the time. Perhaps he is more a part of the other things that he writes about and there he can share with us in a more real way. Maybe...who knows... But it is startling when it happens. I've had it happen with some family or a few friends and I thought, "Maybe I just better shut my mouth about parts of this life that I live."
DeleteOh yes, I seldom talk to my family about things like that. I was surprised and delighted to find common ground with one...
DeleteI hope your backache is lessened. (I fell down a few steps a couple weeks ago, and the rib muscles are still surprised.) i get overwhelmed by all the digital information gushing past, too. We sure have distractions our grandparents didn't. That simple focus on the pen, paper, and concrete reality is calming.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely better, and thank you! And oh yes, I do love the focus that drawing or writing longhand offers.
DeleteI completely understand your thoughts and feelings concerning "community." The book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible teaches us, there is a time, a specific time, for things to happen in our lives. And of course, it is obvious, as we age physically, and grow mentally and in wisdom, these "things" change, from person to person. The scripture tells us there is a time to build, and a time to tear down; a time to gather stones together, and a time to cast those same stones away; a time to sow seed, and to reap crops; even a time to love, and a time to hate. I firmly believe God designs each one of us with divine purpose and plan (Beautiful Psalm 139 teaches us all about this), and He also directs us as we age, as we change, and according to where we are at, at the time. I believe God plants seeds within our hearts, so we have a desire - an "idea" for meaningful, "difference-making" work as we travel from one stage of life into another. I used to work two jobs, volunteer in an adult reading program, play piano for several activities every week, including weddings, funerals, and formal dinners, and all while raising four teenagers. I didn't even blink an eye ... I loved what I did and enjoyed my life. But could I handle that kind of life now?? Ha! Are you kidding!?! Not even a 10th!! I don't have the energy, the ability, or even an iota of the desire needed to do what I once did. I used to be much more social minded than I a, now. I worked in political campaigns, spoke before crowds at rallies without a moments hesitation (fools rush in) ... Now? Now I am content to be home, in my garden, or reading. I teach piano in town one day a week, and I enjoy it, but it drains me and I can hardly wait to get home, go barefoot, and fall into my favorite chair. People and their noise get on my nerves, I avoid listening to the news (and you know ... I hear the important things anyway) because there's not one dadgum thing I can do to remedy what has already happened on the other side of the planet. So, Kate .... Really, some guy admonishing me to get out there and solve all this worlds woes through increased community involvement would be hearing crickets from my corner of the room. I've done this, that, and the other for decades ... Just as you have. And now I'm tired, a bit cranky at times, and easily put-off by goofball behaviors. I long for quiet music, for beautiful words put into perfectly designed sentences (that actually are spelled right and say something, for cryin' out loud), and for a place to sit and paint with a cup of spiced chai or Earl Grey. I treasure my secluded old farmhouse and covet days on end, spent only there. Life is to be lived with joy, and peace, AND by finding individual lives we can touch with our love, affirmation, guidance on occasion, and comfort, when it is needed. I have found, if an activity causes me frustration, anxiety, or fatigue, or makes my angry, resentful, or bitter of spirit, that particular activity is not for me. This is not to say we should not stretch ourselves ... But even in these times, we know, down deep inside, when something just is not "jiving" with us ... Regardless of how much others may admonish us otherwise. I love your recent posts, and thank you for them, Kate. Be healthy . Be good. Be safe. Be happy. Your faithful admirer, Debbie Hatt
ReplyDeleteThank you Debbie! Indeed my time for a great deal of community work has passed...I was so involved in so much that my late husband used to ask me if I was going to be home ANY night that week! And any given week it was up for grabs.
DeleteI am very much trying to remain mindful, but some things do just come up when they come up.
I think I said this before somewhere--maybe on Our Facebook--but you are still very much a part of community through Face Book and your blog and videos and books and classes, and the personal messages you send us. You are so open and sharing.
DeleteI agree, Annie, I was just saying to a friend that this IS community...
DeleteDebbie's words resonate strongly with me and are very similar to what I was pondering in my journal this morning (off and on with gazing gratefully at the rich green of the woods surrounding my home, thankful to have a quiet day with no schedule for a change). I am following your journey, Kate, as I continue seeking the right balance of solitude and community for myself. The balance seems to shift often, and I know I need quiet time to reevaluate and reimagine what works best in my life with a balance of interaction with others and rest for my soul. Your words and example help. Thank you!
DeleteI honestly believe that online IS my best community now. Despite what some people say about online friendships, you are all REAL PEOPLE, and I treasure the communication. This is interaction, too...
DeleteOnline community saves my life, Kate. With my poor hearing I am at a loss in even a small gathering. So I really appreciate a one-on-one with each of you online friends and family.
ReplyDeleteI've been amazed at how satisfying it is Annie...I remember thinking "why do I need a computer??" And then "why do I need email??" And then... :D
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