Inner Journeying, Dreaming, Loss, and the Subconscious Mind

It came to me in the night last night that our dreams are also part of the inner journey...of course that should be obvious, but I often forget my dreams on waking, or soon thereafter, and they don't seem to be particularly meaningful.

Beauty and The Beast...dear friend Dennis Miles and his beloved wife Gwen.

Last night I woke in the wee hours from a dream about a dear friend who died unexpectedly this winter.  20 years younger than me, he was a big man, strong as an ox, a blacksmith by trade.  Tough, incredibly brave, outspoken, and mystical as an ancient smith of Faerie, I loved him  for decades.  A fellow reenactor, we often discussed history...or the foibles of "some folk"!  He and Joseph hit it off, and it was a gift...they'd talk as often as we did.

He was there for me when my first husband died, he shared his own sorrows with me as he did with few others, he shared a laugh--or a recipe for pickles!  He sent me an occasional small product of his hand--an herb cutter, a tiny knife, and more--and I did likewise--a miniature of his dog, a tiny dragon... 

He had my back.

He was the best kind of friend...we accepted eachother's differences and respected them, and loved one another anyway.

In the dream, I had the opportunity to say a tearful goodbye, and share a last hug, which I did not have in life.  One day, he was just gone.  I had talked to him a few days before and he seemed fine...

I was in tears when I woke--I am in tears now--and I realized that I have never fully mourned his loss.  Never really believed he was gone.

R.I.P., old friend.  I miss you.  I love you.