Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Choices, Time, and life just a bit out of control.

Well, all right, a LOT out of control. What IS this thing called control, and do I even want it?

Too many choices, too many opportunities, and an embarrassment of riches! 

I still feel the urge to journal and paint...
I love learning, and I am a sucker for books...but I have way, way more than I'll ever be able to read, on a wide variety of subjects. 

And then there are the online courses and classes and videos and groups and seminars and docu-series and workshops and webinars and membership programs and "summits" that capture my interest or curiosity...

I am currently in two membership programs and managed to pass on another one yesterday, a supporter of two Patreons with lots of wonderful offerings I am behind on, taking a class in February that requires preparation NOW (and it's fun and fascinating so of couse I make time!), finishing up a course I was behind in, and signed up for gnomonworkshops.com for a month or two to learn some new techniques for sculpting...

...and of course there are my own projects. The sewing, the character dolls, cooking, fermenting, herbalism, tinctures, journaling, painting, meditation, qi gong, tai chi, healing modalities...
This is Faeana Fawkes, who appeared in my imagination last summer and would NOT let go...
Who knew Faeana would bring so many more along with her?!  She was the result of a meditation or a shamanic journey after 3 years of foxes appearing in my life.

She was followed by a number of others, including these two soft-sculpture stuffed foxy girls, Joyful and her sister Studious. 
And then there's sewing for myself...

And Joseph...
He loves his warm, cozy short robe...
And eco-dyeing, one of the courses I'll be taking...there's a Daily Om one, too (and another Daily Om that Joseph would like to take together)...

I AM getting better at hitting delete delete delete DELETE on lists and offerings and courses, and even book temptations, and  I'm unsubscribing right, left, and center (how DID I get on so many mailing lists?!?), but even so...my poor brain feels like a bit of tasty snack food with a bunch of seagulls gathering to nibble it madly (and noisily!) to bits.  

Awake before five this morning trying to think WHICH of the many things to do...and here it is mid-morning and I've accomplished very little.  Paralyzed by choices...and by the internet...

I can't count the times I have aimed for more focus, stillness, attention, Presence...

"Be here now," Ram Dass entreated us, many years ago.  But where is here...?


  1. I share your distractions and wealth of ideas and things to learn, and read, and try, and . . . well, I adulted today. Required budgeting and planning--limited to financial responsibility for the year. But then, the fabrics and quilting projects are calling to me. And why is that drill and collection of beach stones still sitting on my work table; and 5 (FIVE!) books to read... at least my day started with a sketch.

    1. Oh, if ONLY five books, Karen. I will die being crushed by my stacks of unread/partially read books!

  2. I feel the same way. It is always exciting to try something new. I love your dolls ideas. A few years ago there was a local fund raiser for Hospice and everyone made dolls of wooden spoons. Mine had a Jane Austin flair to them. It was a lot of fun. I am envious of your energy.

    1. Oh how cool! And yes, I've always been a bit hyper...

  3. LOL! Enjoy! Even if you have to downsize a little. ;)

  4. Oh my, I totally relate. Paralyzed by choices and nothing accomplished.

  5. Oh, Cathy, I share your confusion! If only I shared your output! It’s good to love all of life’s adventures!
    I adore Faena and friends... they remind me that I’ve been thinking an awful lot about mice...but I must hold that thought for snoring
    Ther time😉

    1. I would SO love to see what you'd do with mice, my friend! I told Joseph I had been thinking of cats or rabbits, but he said there are a lot of cat and rabbit dolls out there, and that I bring creatures to life that hadn't been given life before, like my goblin girls. Fair point!

  6. Ps. Just got a book on eco-dyeing and am about to forage for plant matter at the most in-promising time of year

    1. OOooh, which book did you get!? I just picked up India Flint's Eco Colour, and it's her class that starts in February. Of course I've done far more already than she asks us to, to prepare! (I just did another batch today, using dried flowers and herbs, pine needles, pennies, old rusty nails, winterberry leaves...)


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