Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Inner Journeying, Dreaming, Loss, and the Subconscious Mind

It came to me in the night last night that our dreams are also part of the inner journey...of course that should be obvious, but I often forget my dreams on waking, or soon thereafter, and they don't seem to be particularly meaningful.

Beauty and The Beast...dear friend Dennis Miles and his beloved wife Gwen.

Last night I woke in the wee hours from a dream about a dear friend who died unexpectedly this winter.  20 years younger than me, he was a big man, strong as an ox, a blacksmith by trade.  Tough, incredibly brave, outspoken, and mystical as an ancient smith of Faerie, I loved him  for decades.  A fellow reenactor, we often discussed history...or the foibles of "some folk"!  He and Joseph hit it off, and it was a gift...they'd talk as often as we did.

He was there for me when my first husband died, he shared his own sorrows with me as he did with few others, he shared a laugh--or a recipe for pickles!  He sent me an occasional small product of his hand--an herb cutter, a tiny knife, and more--and I did likewise--a miniature of his dog, a tiny dragon... 

He had my back.

He was the best kind of friend...we accepted eachother's differences and respected them, and loved one another anyway.

In the dream, I had the opportunity to say a tearful goodbye, and share a last hug, which I did not have in life.  One day, he was just gone.  I had talked to him a few days before and he seemed fine...

I was in tears when I woke--I am in tears now--and I realized that I have never fully mourned his loss.  Never really believed he was gone.

R.I.P., old friend.  I miss you.  I love you.

10 comments:

  1. Such a beautiful story; a loving tribute; and a reminder that we should tell those we love how much they mean to us -- often, as we never know when our day will come. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt post with us. It reminds me of many similar events in my life and regrets that I didn't take my own advice here. Heart felt sympathy to you Cathy.

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    1. That's one thing we did, Lorraine! Half-kiddingly, but said "I love you," often. He lived in Ohio, and he refused to cross the Mississippi...we always thought we'd wear him down, or get there...

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  2. It still seems unreal him being gone Kate. I met D through you, he was so patient with this apprentice smith, and answered even my most idiotic questions without judgement.

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    1. I know, he could be amazing! He had no patience with stupid, so your questions must not really have been idiotic, I'm thinking. :)

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  3. What a lovely tribute to your friend. I'm thankful you were able to find some comfort and closure through your dream. Amazing Grace.

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  4. Thank you for such loving words for my brother. I miss him a million times a day. He was my rock, my brother, my friend and my hero. Thank you for loving him like you did. I know he loved you both as well.

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  5. so beautiful! I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  6. Thank you Peg, I can only imagine how much you must miss him. My older sis died in 2014 and I still miss her so much.

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  7. I suspect you had a visitation. I had very vivid dreams of both my parents soon after each of their deaths. Both dreams felt live a visit "from the other side".

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  8. A lovely tribute to a good soul. I had my dearest friend die a few years ago and I still can't believe she's gone, either. We were loyal confidants--unconditionally. When you find someone like that you keep them close. It's shocking when they disappear so suddenly. What a wonderful visit you had with him, though. Precious!

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